What is communicating uphill?
It is a truism that meaningful communication is difficult. Not only are intentions often difficult to convey through words, but there is also tone of voice, facial expression, and body language to consider. What is more, personal and interpersonal situation, context, and environment are complicating factors. For example, it is very difficult to communicate meaningfully when one is in emotional distress, or when one is in physical danger, or when one’s loved one is in danger. Moreover, high speed and high pressure environments like, say, an Emergency Department or a Law Office, naturally make communication difficult.
Still more, communication does not only mean speaking well, but also listening well and being heard. Good communication requires at least two good communicators. Adding to that the difficulties of situation, context, and environment, let us add one more, the one that I would like to dwell on for a moment, that of communicating “uphill.”
Communicating uphill is communicating in an environment where there are acknowledged power differences. Power differentials play an extremely large role in communication. For example, when an employee speaks to a manager, the manager’s very position of power naturally inspires fear in the speaker. To be in the presence of someone in power means that one is in a situation where the other person has some direct influence, if not control, over your life, whether that be something like physical safety or job and economic security. Therefore, even if the person in power, say a manager, is intending to be friendly and receptive, that manager’s very position is naturally going to mitigate or mute any conveyed sense of friendliness and openness.
Therefore, an enormous difficulty for a manager’s ability to facilitate good communication is to be able to manage this power differential, which is to say being able to create a safe environment where not only the intention to be receptive is there, but manifest outward conveyance of this receptivity and safety is being communicated and received by the one with less power. This includes a clear conveyance of this not only in words, but also in tone of voice, facial expression, and body language.
One of a manager’s primary responsibilities is to establish a safe environment for good, meaningful communication, for without good, meaningful communication there is no trust, no relationship, and therefore no productivity. Therefore, to realize the impact of one’s words, tone of voice, facial expression, and body language, is critical. In short, effective self-management is critical to effective other-management. Since the manager’s job is via their personhood to manage other persons, the manager has thus to be constantly alert to themselves and to the fear which the power differential naturally creates so as to adapt oneself as needed. For it is not acceptable to be impersonal when one’s very job is interpersonal in nature. Impersonal relationships create fear and mistrust. That said, merely asserting that one has “an open door policy” does not suffice to create an actual safe environment for meaningful communication, nor assuage the natural fear that is a given in manager-employee relationships and encounters.
For an employee to speak to a manager always involves risk-taking, and this is vital for a manager to ever keep in mind. Any time an employee approaches a manager, they are engaging in a risk, a risk that is not shared by the manager. The employee is communicating “uphill,” which is to say the manager by default has the position of advantage, power, even inequality. Thus the creation of a safe environment, one characterized by good communication, is made immediately more difficult, but must of necessity be dealt with in order to create the most productive and effective workplace. A manager’s effectiveness is therefore directly tied to their ability to effectively create this environment of support and trust.
Not merely a set of tasks to be accomplished, work is fundamentally a product of relationship, and relationship is communication. Therefore, for us to be able to create the most effective workplace, we must become masters of effective, good communication, which is to say the creation of safe environments where deep listening takes place, fears are acknowledged and assuaged, hopes are kindled, kind, true, and humane words are spoken, and grace is extended.
Examples of Relationships with Assumed Power Differentials
Manager to Employee; Upper Management to Lower Management; Doctor to Nurse; Doctor to Patient; Nurse to Patient; Nurse to Home Health Aid; Pastor to Parishioner; Principal to Teacher; Police Officer to Citizen; Parent to Child.
Can you think of any other examples?
Questions for Reflection, Discussion, and Skill Building
-If you find yourself in a position where there is a power differential, are you “making room” for the fact that the person speaking with you has fear and is taking a risk just in speaking with you?
-How are you conveying this? What potentially identifiable adjustments are you making to your choice of words, tone of speech, and body language that could convey this?
-Would those who have less power than you typically agree that you make them feel safe? How would you know if they felt safe?
-If growth requires feedback, how do you elicit feedback for growth from those at a lower power differential? Do you? Do you invite or avoid critique from those over whom you are above?
-Knowing that there is always room for improvement, are you doing anything that might make those with less power feel unsafe? How could you change that? What could you do to truly convey a sense of having created a safe environment for meaningful, effective communication?
-If managing others implies managing one’s ability to relate effectively, does your demeanor invite or intimidate? More practically, how would someone at a lower power differential experience or describe your tone of voice? Does your tone of voice convey warmth? Does your voice perhaps have a hard or uncaring edge? Does your facial expression or body language invite or intimidate? Is it cold or indifferent? Warm and interested? How would you know?
